software

As was mentioned in the previous RHT thread this pup was the brainchild of JacksonMIA and all credit goes to him for this bit of humor.

Jefferson City Post
November, 22, 2004

Green County - Tragedy struck the heart of Balue Falls, MO, with the tragic death of founding citizen and dog lover Jack Walker, the fifth in a string of related accidents.

Walker was employed as a columnist at Guitar Smut magazine for ten years after founding Balue Falls following the exodus from Blue Falls over quot;that there new fangled cell-yer telephone anten-ee goin' up by Cletus McGehee's drug store parkin' lot,quot; according to co-worker and lifelong friend Honus Lee Smith.

Walker was attempting to install a new pickup, the Rectified Harmonic Trimbucker, into a Squire Bullet modified to hold a tremlo sized pickup. quot;The many-factur's di-rekshuns say not to put that there pickup in that there geetar,quot; says Smith. quot;But he's always a-pushin' the boundrys of musical science.quot; Unfortunately, the pickups self-defense system engaged, exploding the pickup and sending shrapnel throuh Walkers head and upper body.

quot;All I could think about was, what's his dogs gonna do now that he's kicked the bucket,quot; said Sally Joe Eda Mae Betty Sue Black who worked in the office next to Walker.

This tragic incident follows on the heels of four other deaths seemingly resulting from the same guitar pickup.

Last Thursday, police and paramedics arrived at Gutiar Smut's testing facility to find 35 year old Cordell Jenkins lying in a pool of his own blood, while his lab partner, Hank Snow, twitching on the floor with a soldering iron buried in his head.

Investigators determined that Jenkins was closest to the amplifier when he strummed the guitar containing the RHT pickup. His ears hemmoraged and he bled to death almost instantly. Snow, was farther away but the loss of balance and control resulting from the deadly note caused him to inadvertently stab himself in the head. Three hundred other employees were treated at local hospitals for hearing damage.

The other two victims were killed in a fire that errupted the next day. Just back from the hospital, with their new hearing protection, two workers resumed testing of the RHT pickup. The guitar in which they were testing the pickup, burst into flames catching their laboratory on fire. The insuing inferno burned the bodies so badly, that they have still not been identified.

The local outrage over the continued testing of this pickup has reached alarming levels. Jane Brooks Smith Jenkins Walker Smith Walker Snow Jenkins Jenkins McGehee Black Lee Walker Jones Smith was arrested yesterday for indecent exposure. She was caught walking around town with quot;Stop Maykin Thum Pik Thingysquot; written across her bare chest in eight inch letters. Her lawyers claim that she is not guilty because she has been married to everyone in town at least once and that her $5 per letter fine was discriminatory since she is the only one in town that has that much room.

Walker is survived by his 47 dogs and his ex-wife from their three previous marriages.

bump

lol - good one