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I understand that the handmade nature of the product there are variations in ohm for each pup. If I were to call a dealer and see if they could pick out something special what would i be looking for? And, specifically would an 8.3 bridge sound different than an 8.7ohm?

If you choose a hot bridge should you choose a hot neck or the opposite?

Would you also put the caps on the volume pots to retain highs as you roo back the volume pot

This is going in a 335 and I really need to do this once as it is a pain in the butt to rewire a 335.

It does sound different but not in a dramatic way. I recognized that difference within 300 ohm in a pup weren't not audible clearly. The human memory for sound is very bad, subtle differences can only be heard in direct comparison. But this is difficult with guitars, you have to swap them very fast and have very equal model and very similar basis tones in them. The effect of magnets and amps are much higher.
I would look for a difference of 1k between neck and bridge. Lesser resistance make the pup clearer, higher resistance makes them a little bit browner. I would also look for the basic sound of the guitar and your desired sound/style. Rule of thumb: Phat guitar with lots of mid and sustain could have a lower resistance pup, brighter guitars can have browner pups. My .02

If I were to call a dealer and see if they could pick out something special what would i be looking for?

I have had a ton of Antiquity Humbuckers run through my shop and the resistance range is pretty much this:

Bridge: 8.35K to 8.85K
Neck: 7.4K to 7.9K

They are totally random in resistance and bobbin color underneath the covers. I would say there is a noticable difference from one end of the resistance spectrum to the other but it's not a lot. As far as mixing and matching resitances goes I get all kinds of requests based on the players personal preference. As said above, just try to match them to the the tone of the guitar to get what you are after.